I Don't Know!
by Zina Nevirone
Summary: Dana is seriously mixed up! She cheated on her Logan! Left him! Her new boyfriend, Warren cheats on her and she is forced to leave the gang,coz she's not perfect enough! Her Mom lives abroad with her daughter Tasha! This is in their last year, they are 18
1. Warren

I don't know!

Chap 1

**A/n: This just something I came up with at night before I went to sleep then I built it into an after, before and during school project!**

God I wish I hadn't left him! I had everything authority, popularity, money and best of all love. Then I met him, Warren. I thought I loved Warren, but then he cheated on me, a thing my ex-boyfriend would never have done, but I did to him. I suddenly felt what it was like to have all sense of security whipped out from underneath me. I must have done that to him, the kind sensitive Logan Reese. I know you must be thinking Logan Reese, kind and sensitive, yeah right, well he changed for the better when I came back from France. When I left him I left the gang only to wave to or say a muffled hello in the halls. Logan can't meet my eye anymore and I can't meet his. He has this new girl now, she's a blonde bimbo, she's always on his arm. Her name's Julie. She's in my maths class and as thick as two short planks. So not his type, since he changed anyway. Warren cheated on me with Julie's friend Andrea, another blonde with no IQ. So now I walk about PCA all on my own. Depressing really. Dana Cruz, a loner. Dana Cruz, a loser. Dana Cruz, an outcast. That's me! I have no-one! I mean why would I need anyone! I'm fine on my own, why shouldn't I be? I'm Dana Cruz.

Now I know who I love. I love Logan. I shouldn't have let him go. I shouldn't have gone to Warren. I now have a year, yes this is senior year, to win Logan over or I may not see him again. I may not get to see any of my old gang it again. I can't let him or them go, they mean everything to me. I need them, especially now! Where to start? Where to begin?

I walked around campus looking for Warren. _This is when we were still together_He'd promised to meet me at the fountain. He wasn't there. Just that Julie, kissing Logan. Logan gave me an evil 'go away' stare. I gave him an 'I don't care care if you hate me' look. Of course I actually cared, but I didn't want him to know that!

I searched for Warren everywhere, then I went back to the fountain. There was Warren, standing there as though he'd been there all along.

"Where have you been?" he had the guts to ask me.

"Looking for you." I said flatly.

"I promised I'd meet you here, silly!" Warren smiled.

"I came here first and you weren't here." I said threw gritted teeth.

"Well sorry, I got held up!" Warren said rather annoyed.

"By who?" I asked curiously.

"My mates!" Warren shrugged.

"But I just saw them and they said they hadn't seen you for at least an hour." I said just keeping my temper.

"Well-it-was-my-my-other-friends." Warren stammered.

I punched his arm.

Don't lie to me!" I shouted.

"O.K! O.K!" Warren moaned, "I was on my own, in my dorm."

"Don't lie! I checked your dorm that's where your mates were." I punched his arm again, "I don't want to know where you were." I concluded.

Warren looked at his feet, that confirmed it. Warren was cheating on me.

"Who is she?" I stared him down.

"Dana, please!" Warren begged.

"Who is she?" I asked a little irritated.

"Dana! At least get inside first!" Warren pleaded.

"Why?" I said angrily.

"Please!" Warren kissed me on the head, the kiss of death.

"Fine!" I said moodily.

I practically speed-walked to my dorm. I've got one to share with Andrea and Julie now. Julie smiled at me nervously and Andrea didn't even look up. Warren walked in behind me.

"Girls, can I have a minute with Dana?"

"Sure, Warren!" Andrea said in a way that I now know was flirtatiously.

"Sure." Julie mumbled.

The two girls left the room. I turned and faced him.

"Tell me!" I ordered.

"Dana, sit down!" Warren told me.

"I don't want to sit down!" I yelled, "Just tell me who your little hussie girl is?"

"O.K! O.K! It's-it's Andrea!" Warren looked at the floor.

I was stunned, I couldn't move.

"Babe?" Warren asked worriedly.

"Don't babe me!" I screamed, "How long?" I asked desperately.

"Since, the start of the semester." Warren mumbled staring at the floor.

"Get out." I said barely above a whisper.

"What?" Warren asked foolishly.

"Get out!" I yelled.

Warren put his arms around me. I pushed him away. Then I punched his chest.

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" I screeched.

I then broke down crying. Warren held my wrists.

"Why? Why?" I sobbed.

I jumped on my bed. Warren came over. I kicked him away and rolled over. I sobbed into my pillow.

A few minutes later I heard the door click. I assumed Warren was gone. I cried even more.

After about fifteen minutes I heard the door click again and the voices of Julie and Andrea, gossiping.

I was so distraught I could only hear one line, "Serves her right for doing the same to Logan."

Who cares who said it, all I know is that it was said.

The two carried on for what seemed like years, while I calmed down. After a while I drifted off to sleep.

I dreamt that I had never come back to PCA. I still lived with Mama in France I had another boyfriend, Pierre. He was cool. An O.K. guy, could say. I was in France for a year. I went for one reason and one reason only, Mama. I came back coz I had to. I had to get away from it all. Away from Tash.

I woke up sick. I hadn't felt so sick since leaving Logan or since Tash. Oh Tash, how I miss you. I should have taken her with me. I should have taken her. I should have done. I need her. She's the only person I have hope in. Please send her over. She's the only thing I have ever done right in my whole cooked up life. I need her here. I need her here now!

This is where I am now thinking all of this over. Wishing for Warren, wishing foe Logan and most of all wishing for Tash. How I miss Logan. It doesn't make sense. I didn't miss him one bit when I left him, but now I miss him like hell.

I really am sick! Sick of my life. Sick of everything. Sick of Warren. Sick of Julie. Sick of Andrea. And sick of Mama. I'm not sick of Tash anymore. I just want my old life back. The life where I always fought with Logan, I always got annoyed with Nicole, Zoey was always trying to make everything perfect, Michael was Michael and Chase was over league crushing on Zoey. There was that new girl as well, Lola. The whole reason I'm stuck in a room with tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber. I will never have that again. Not now! Not ever! Zoey doesn't think I'm 'perfect' enough to be in her little gang. At the time I told her she could stuff it up her ass, but in actual fact I would kill to be a part of that group now. I would honestly kill!

It must be something like 9:00 am now. I've a woken to some strange noises out side my door. I get up and walk dizzily to the door. I open the door slowly, I have to hold onto the door frame to steady myself. The door opens faster than I'd hoped. I grasp the door frame to stop myself falling over. I peer down the corridor. Two girls, there backs are to me, so I can't tell who they are.

"Look I had a fucking rough night last night, keep the noise down!" I shout at them.

"Dana?" one of the girls queries.

**A/n:Well what do ya think? Who do ya think tha two girls are? What do ya think is gonna happen? Press the PURPLE button now!**


	2. Tasha

I Don't Know

Chap 2

**A/n: Who were the two girls? Let's find out!!!!!**

"Yeah that's my name!" I shoot.

One of the girls spins around.

"Dana, it's me! Nicole!" the one on the left screeches.

I throw my hands to my ears.

"We, me and Zo, came to see if you were alright!" Nicole asks almost normally.

"It's all over campus already?" I ask worriedly.

"No, no! Julie told Logan, Logan told Chase and Michael and they told us!" Nicole rambled.

"Oh!" I sigh relieved.

I'm worried though coz one of my best friends is still not saying anything.

"So how are you?" Nicole asks seeing me frowning at Zoey's back.

"Fine!" I mumble, "So how are you?"

"Good! Good!" Nicole muttered.

"Zoey at least talk to me!" I protest.

"Why?" She asks then immediately clamps her hand to her mouth.

Zoey spins round and faces me with an ugly scowl plastered on her face.

"You don't get it do you?" She asks angrily.

"Get what?" I ask puzzled.

"That I don't want to be your friend anymore!" Zoey yells.

"I get that! I didn't ask you to come here! You came here coz you were worried! For that I thank you! But if you're gonna bad mouth me and say that you don't wanna be my friend, then leave!" I shout stubbornly.

"Look Dana! I don't want to leave! I have just as much right to be here as anyone! I actually came coz Nicole dragged me here!" Zoey whispers angrily.

"Yeah, but you could still leave!"

"God, you are so like Logan!" Zoey quickly clamps her hand back to her mouth.

I roll my eyes. Brilliant, just as I forget about Logan, SHE reminds me!

"I'm SO sorry! You don't want anything to do with him!"

"I do!" I want to scream it, but all I do is mutter it.

"What you do now? After practically ripping his heart out! I don't believe you, you bitch!" she hit a sore spot.

"How could you? You wouldn't know a bitch she bit you in the ass!" I scream back.

"Zo, Dana! Calm down!" Nicole orders suddenly, she shock us both, " Get in the room!"

xx

We both step in the room our heads hanging. Nicole pushes us down.

"You two are acting like-like well a babies!"

"Says the bimbo!" I state.

"Shut it!" Nicole shouts.

I obey.

"You two will make it up!" she orders.

We stare at her unbelievably.

"Now?" Zoey asks.

"Now!" Nicole screams.

"Zoey, I love Logan!"

"And all Warren had to do was cheat on you?!"

"No! I do love him!"

"So why'd you cheat in the first place?"

"It's called flare!"

"So? You can get flare any other way! You didn't have to send someone into spiralling depression!"

"Logan was in spiralling depression?"

"Basically! All he did was mope around, not flirting with anyone!"

"I am an idiot!"

"No comment!"

"You hate me, don't you?"

"Well...not completely!"

"Why?"

"You threw away everything! Your life! Your love! Your friends! I thought you were happy! Girls would kill to have what you had, but no you had to throw it away!"

"I didn't want to throw it away! It started as a simple fling! No-one was ever to know ever! I foolishly went back for more! More and more! Then Logan walked in on us! I let him go there and then! Then you found out! That was horrible! YOU exiled me!" with that I hide my face in my pillow.

"I didn't know it had affected you that much!"

"No-one did! No-one ever did! No-one listens! No-one ever listens!"

"Dana! Calm down!"

"I can't calm down! Not now! Not ever!"

"Yes, you can!"

I start shaking. I can't stop.

"Dana? Dana? Dana, what are you doing?"

"I-can't-help-it!-I-can't-breathe!"

"Yes, you can! Look at me! Breathe in! Out! In! Out!"

I do as Zoey instructs. In and out. In and out. Slowly I settle.

"Thanks, Zo!"

She leans in and hugs me. I hug her back. She always knows what to do.

"Come with us!" Nicole begs.

I nod my head. Nicole smiles. I smile. Zoey smiles.

Xx

We are now sitting in dorm 101. It feels so nice to be in this dorm again with familiar faces. Zoey, Nicole, Chase and that other girl Lola. Michael isn't there and thankfully Logan isn't either. We're just talking like nothing's ever happened. At the back of my mind I am worrying that Logan's going to come in that door and murder me. As I said that worry is at the very back of my mind.

Xx

My very fears have come true, Logan's just stepped inside the door.

"What's the bitch doing here?"

I guess he's referring to me. No-one answers.

"Don't tell me you've taken pity on her! Aw! You're so sweet! Unlike her!"

"Logan, I'm sorry!" I yell.

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for everything!"

"Why? I get to see you go threw everything I had to!"

"I love you!"

"No you don't! You just want me back coz you have no-one left!"

"I do! I have my friends! I have my family! I especially have Tasha!"

"Who the hell's Tasha? You always moaned how much you missed her yet you never told me who she was! You said you told me everything! We all know that's not true!"

"You wouldn't understand who she was if I told you!"

"What happened that summer? Why did you come back and ruin everything with an idiot who you barely even knew?"

"Stuff happened! You wouldn't understand!"

"Stop saying I wouldn't understand! I do understand! I understand a lot!"

"Pierre and Tasha happened!"

"Who the hell are they?"

"Logan sit down!"

"Why?"

"I'll tell you who they are!"

"Fine!"

"Pierre is my ex-boyfriend! From France! We had a few stupid flings! Before I was with you! When I moved there for the year!"

And I'm supposed to care?"

"Yes, I got pregnant!"

"Pregnant?"

"Yes! I kept the baby!"

"Where is it then? It would be about four, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, she is four!"

"You have a four year old kid? In France?"

"Yeah that's who Tasha is!"

"You look so-so-so good!"

"Well, yes!"

**A/n: What do you think? Is it too much to take in?**


	3. America

I Don't Know!

Chap 3

**A/n: I so totally love this story! I love it more than Lovechain! Or Love Hurts and I Can Prove It! They are cool stories!**

"You have a kid?" Nicole squeals.

"Mhmm!" breathe, having to take a breather, "And I miss her like hell!"

"You still didn't tell me what happened that summer! What happened two years ago?" Logan demands.

"It's complicated!"

"Just tell me!"

"You got too mushy! I need flare! You knew that! I knew that!"

"I was not mushy! Mushy is emotional, not being nice!"

"Compared to the old Logan, the one I fell in love with, you were mushy!"

"Well thank god I'm not nice anymore otherwise I'd forgive you! Which I was willing to do before you left me for the toad!"

"I'm sorry for that! I really am!"

"I don't care!"

"I don't know!"

"What don't you know? If your whole life's shit! If your whole life's gone coz of one little girl! One little girl ruined your whole life!"

"Actually if it wasn't for Tasha I wouldn't of realised that I loved you!"

"God she is bad luck! Every time you went to France in the holidays was to see that little brat?"

"Tasha is not a brat! I'll prove it to you!"

With that I push Logan out my way and march out the door. I can't believe that jerk. He offended my baby! My sweet little girl! She's the sweetest girl anyone has ever seen in their entire life. Word perfect in French and English.

Xx

I fight my way through the crowded girls' lounge and down my narrow corridor. My door is open so I push it open. Standing there is Warren and Andrea, kissing.

"Oh purlease!" I announce without even thinking.

The two whip round. Staring at me like I'm in an art gallery.

"Dana, baby! Come here!" Warren sweet talks me.

"Andrea's your baby now!" I retort.

"No, no! She's my..." his voice trails off.

"Dana, how'd Logan take the fact that you were back with HIS friends?" Andrea smirked being her evil bitchy self.

I didn't answer. Why should I? She's not worth it! I walk past the two and sit on my bed cross-legged. It's far more interesting than those two losers. I pick up my phone and phone my mum. I know she'll freak when she remembers the cost for this bloody phone call, but I need Tasha. Now that my friends know about her I'm gonna organise to bring my sweet little child over for her first trip to America, to live forever, with me. I'm leaving school this year, I'll take a gap year for Tasha, get her into school. I need to get my life sorted. Then I'll get into collage, close to home. Do my degrees then I can live my life, with Tasha, whoever I decide to marry, if I marry, and probably more kids. Mama will just have to live on her own. That's what she deserves for leaving Dad.

Xx

I phoned Mama. She's phoned Dean Rivers. Tasha's coming this weekend. She'll stay in my dorm. I'm not telling Julie, Andrea or Warren. I'm not wasting my breath on them. They're not worth it. I can't wait to tell Zoey, if she'll still talk to me. Nicole will freak, Lola will I have no idea, Quinn will want to perform some sorta medical procedure on her, Chase will zone out to think about Zoey, Michael will be Michael and Logan will be a complete jerk as normal. She's coming here! Tasha's coming to PCA! I'm so excited! I'm going to tell them now!

Xx

I knock on Zo's dorm. She answers the door and sees my huge smile. I love being happy.

"You've found a way to prove Logan wrong, haven't you?" Zoey smirks.

She's my friend. My friend. My best friend.

"Oh, yeah!" I beam back.

"How?"

"She's coming here! Tasha's coming here, to PCA!"

"How?"

"Tasha's coming to live here! My little girl's flying in in two days time! Then she'll stay here in America!"

"She is! Oh my GOD! I'll finally get to meet the elusive Tasha!"

"I know! Can I come in?"

Zoey leans forward to my ear, "He's in there!"

"Oh! Never mind! I'm in such a good mood not even he can make me angry tonight!"

"Could anyone make you mad tonight? Come on in!"

Zoey disappears into the room. I follow her.

"Who was-" Logan asks, and pauses coz he sees me walk in.

"Hey, everyone Tasha, Dana's daughter is coming this weekend!" Zoey announces, thankfully taking the weight off my shoulders.

"Seriously?" Nicole shrieks.

"Yeah! Too live!" I almost squeal, but I'm not an uncontrollable bimbo, thank you very much.

"That is so cool!" Lola screams.

"I know! You all get to meet my little girl! She's so sweet! And don't worry about your swearing she already knows all the words! In French and English!" I start to brag and then stop myself, I don't brag.

I glance over at Logan. He has a stupid scowl on his face. I have found a way to get the old Logan back. I secretly smirk inside.

"I still can't over the fact that you have a four year old kid! My sister Tia is her age! She still acts like a baby!" Chase exclaims.

"You'll be surprised then when you meet my lil' angel!" I show off, yes I show off.

"I hope so!" Chase smiles.

It's amazing, he's actually paying attention to the topic on hand and not tha he thinks Zoey looks good in her brand new mini-skirt or whatever. I'm glowing with pride. I haven't spoken to Zoey and the gang for two years and suddenly I'm the centre of attention all because of my four year old child. Logan is brimming with jealousy. I bet that tonight he'll be on the phone to his daddy-dearest getting him to ship in a new sound system or whatnot to try and top me, but no-one can top this! I have a daughter and she's coming here to live with me.

Xx

It's normal for the next few minutes we talk and gossip. Chase zones out again. I can see it in his eyes. They just sorta glaze over. He's probably dreaming up some situation where Zoey confesses her secret obsession with him and they kiss. I can get into peoples' minds like this because I was one of them once. Going gaga every time I was in the same room as my 'crush'. Only he wasn't a 'crush' he was a true love and I blew it. I guess that by now you've guessed who I' talking about. Logan.

Xx

It's getting late now.

"I better go! Gotta sleep! One more day of bloody classes to get through before my little princess comes!" I smile as I walk out the door.

"Bye!" I hear as I shut the door.

Surprisingly Logan's voice is amongst the others and it doesn't sound like he hates me. It sounds almost-almost normal. Spooky. I thought he would want to kill me, but no. Is that good news. Or is it just a habit. You know when someone says something you respond with the same thing you always say. Everyone else was saying 'bye', so was he saying 'bye' outta habit or because he wants to. I don't know! My head hurts.

Xx

I'm at my door now. I open it. The room is fortunately empty, so I get undress and get into bed. All I can think of is Logan. How much I regret losing him. How I may get him back. How he'll be able to meet the lil' gal who made me realise who I wanted to be with when I was fourteen. How his hair lies. How much he's changed in two years from that 'MUSHY' spoilt brat to the old Logan. The one I love. The one I fell in love with.

**A/n: What do you think? What do you think will happen? What do you think will happen between Dana and Logan?**


	4. Logan

I Don't Know

Chap 3

**A/n: Here we go again! I want to know what's going to happen!!!!! Most of what I believe is what I make Dana believe!!!!**

School today, but I don't care! I'm going to see my lil girl tomorrow. She's coming. I still can't believe it. Something has to go wrong. It just has to. My whole world evolves around something going wrong. You probably think that's sad. I know, but if I didn't have that to hold on to I'd have nothing, except Tasha. Yay, Tasha's coming tomorrow. Shoot. Logan's told Julie and Andrea. I can guess. They've both come in with the most awful scowls on their faces. They glare at me.

"YOU have a kid?" Andrea snarls.

"What's it to you?" I retort.

"Is IT staying in our dorm?" Andrea barks.

"What's it to you?" I repeat.

"Is your little brat staying in our dorm or not?" Andrea roars.

"What's it to you?" I repeat again.

"Look! I know she is! So, stop your bloody pantomime act!" Andrea screams outraged.

"So what if she is?" I sigh, getting bored of this 'game'.

"Her little 'brat' is called Tasha!" Julie tries to be kind.

"Thanks Julie!" I mumble.

"Whatever IT's called I don't want IT in our dorm! IT'll probably cry all the time!" Andrea shouts.

"'IT' is four!" I shout back.

"Oh, that makes it alright, then!" Andrea moans sarcastically, "Instead let's have IT asking ridiculous questions about simple little things!"

"Tasha knows quite a lot for a child her age and she has never in her life asked me or my mom a question about 'simple little things'." I exclaim.

I then storm out the room, down the hall and through the girls' lounge. I knock impatiently on Zoey's door. She answers.

Xx

"Where is he?" I scream.

Zoey points backwards. I storm past.

"YOU!" I roar.

"What?" he asks innocently.

"YOU told your bloody girlfriend about Tasha, didn't you?"

"Why, yes! I believe I did!"

"Idiot!"

"What did you call me?"

"What you are! An idiot!"

"I'm not an idiot! I'm smarter than you! I haven't got a child!"

"So, I have a child, who cares? Only you and your girlfriends best friend could make a drama out of that!"

"I love drama, is that a crime?"

"No, but..."

"Ah! Not got an answer to that!"

"Bastard!"

"Hey! Hey, watch your language!"

"Why?"

"Coz your little girl is coming over from France!"

"She knows every swear there is!"

"Your not a very good mom!"

"I know, I left her when she was a baby!"

"Oh, yes!"

"Anyway! Can you not tell your girlfriend things I'm gonna tell her!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but me ad my GIRLFRIEND have an open relationship!"

"Shut up!"

"No, why should I?"

"Coz your a twat!"

"I hate you!"

"You have no idea!"

"No, idea about what? How you took my heart and ripped it into shreds? How you never loved me? How you need to get a life away from my friends?"

"No! I didn't want to hurt you! I do love you! I don't need a life away, I have a life here!"

"Don't ever say you love me!"

"But I do!"

"Don't lie!"

"I'm not lying!"

"Yes! You have to be! You have to be playing a trick!"

"It's no trick!"

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that!"

I lean in and look in his eyes.

"I love you always have and always will!"

"I believe you!"

I smile.

"But, I can't love you!"

I feel my eyes filling with tears. I can't stop it. Before I can say anything my face is drenched.

"Why?"

"I can't trust you!"

I see his face, it's blurry, but I swear his eyes are filled with tears too.

"No!-You-have-to!"

"I-can't!"

"Please!"

"I-don't-know-how!"

"Just-trust-me!"

"How?"

"Lose-the-bimbo!"

"I'll-try!"

Promise myself, I won't kiss him!

"Thank you!"

I hug him and leave the room.

Xx

Back in my dorm I lie face down on my bed. I'm crying on the inside. I could never cry aloud just in case Julie, Andrea or Warren saw me. That would be a disaster. Julie's come in. She's screaming.

"Julie what's wrong?" Andrea and I ask in unison.

"He's-dumped-me!-You've-said-something-to-him-Dana,-haven't-you?" she sobs.

I feel guilty for a split second.

"I didn't say anything!" I lie.

"Yes, you have!" Andrea screams, getting involved.

I don't answer. I won't answer.

Xx

Night time again. She's coming tomorrow morning. It seems unreal. Logan did what I said. He lost thew bimbo. Only downside is I now have a soap in my own dorm. How dramatic. Tasha's bed done up. Everything's ready to go. Now all I have to do is get a taxis in the morning to the airport and there I'll meet my baby, my precious little princess.

**A/n: Dana and Logan might get back together!!!! Tasha's coming tomorrow!!!!! What's in store for Dana???? What did you think????**


	5. Julie

I Don't Know

Chap 5

**A/n:: Fancy Pattern!!!! Yay!!! Hyper time over!!! Seriously this story rocks!!!!! Some French spoken in this chap!!! If it isn't right please tell me!!!!!!!!!**

Today's the day! I'm up, dressed and in the taxi. I would have asked Logan to come, but he wasn't in his room. I think he's hiding from me. I'm not surprised! I did ask him to break up with his girlfriend, but usually he doesn't do anything I tell him.

"Dana! Wait!" someone yells as I close the door.

I shove the door open wide again. I look round. There he is! The guy you can always count on! Note the sarcasm! Logan Reese!

"Logan?" I ask puzzled.

"Wait! I'll come!"

"Really?"

"Of course! I dumped my girlfriend for you!"

"Hurry up! Get in!"

"I'm coming! You never change do you?"

"Oh, come on! You've known me long enough!"

"Yeah, but you change your attitude everyday!"

"Just get in! I don't want Mama and Tasha to wait long!"

Logan gets in the car. I think he wants to hold my hand. He stops. I reach over and clasp his. He smiles at me with that smile I fell in love with. Not that awful smirk, but a genuine smile. I smile back, an actual smile. I know freaky. Two people who never smile properly are smiling at each other, ironic.

"Dana, why did you ever leave me?" Logan mutters, so the driver can't hear.

"I didn't want to! First it was a one off fling! Then a full out affair! When you found out, I just couldn't admit I was wrong! I just couldn't!" I murmur, finally admitting what I dreaded.

"Why does that sound so much like you?" Logan tries to be sarcastic, but fails.

"I don't know!" I sigh, I can't get mad with him, not now.

Xx

Before long we arrive at the airport.

"That's them, right?" Logan points at a young girl and an older woman.

Weirdly, Logan picks out Tasha and Mama out right away. Freaks me out as he has never met Tasha and only met Mama once.

"Yeah! How'd you know?" I ask confused.

"They look like you!" Logan shrugs.

"Mama!" I yell to the older woman.

"Dana? Ca va?" Mama shouts to me.

"Dana!" Tasha cries.

"Dana?" Logan whispers in my ear.

I nod to answer his question and answer Mama's with, "Je suis fatiguee!"

"Oh, moi enfant!" Mama says as she hugs me.

I feel my cheeks grow warm with embarrassment.

"Mama, sil vou plait! Kis kisse en angle!" I moan.

"Oops! Sorry, Dana! I completely forgot!" Mama apologises, "Is that Warren?" she whispers.

"No, Mama! That's Logan!" I correct her.

"Dana!" Tasha whines.

"Tasha!" I whine back.

"Stop it!" Tasha protests.

"Stop it!" I copy.

"Clementine!" Tasha begs Mama.

"Clementine!" I mimic.

"Dana, please!" Mama asks.

"Fine!" I huff.

"Fine!" Tasha huffs trying to be like me.

I see Logan shake his head slowly. I give him the stare of death. He stares me out.

"Aurevoir, Mama!" I kiss her cheek, grab Tasha's bag and clasp Tasha's hand.

Tasha kissed Mama and skipped along beside me.

"Aurevoir, my babies! Aurevoir, I mean bye, Logan!" Mama waved, tears gathering in her eyes.

"Bye!" Logan replys.

"Salut, Clementine!" Tasha smiles.

Xx

We get to PCA, only to arrive in front of Zoey and the gang. They are all smiling and waving at us. I shake my head. Tasha snaps her seatbelt off and jumps up to look out the window. She whistles when she sees how big the campus is and jumps down when she sees everyone waving at her.

"Who are they?" Tasha's voice wavers.

"My friends!" I beam.

"You said no fuss!" Tasha whispers shyly.

"Hey, this is a surprise to me too! What about you, Logan?" I ask starting to suspect him.

"Beats me!" Logan shrugs truthfully.

I relax. It's probably one of Zoey's 'make everyone happy' plans. I smile. The taxi stops. We all get out. Tasha stands behind me, clutch my knee-length skirt.

"Tasha, this is Zoey, Nicole, Lola, Quinn, Chase and Michael!" I say pointing to everyone, "Everyone this is Tasha!"

"Hey, Tasha!" they all say unison.

"Dana, they scare me!" Tasha whispers.

I laugh. Logan heard too and he laughs with me. Tasha glares up at me.

"Aren't you the sweetest!" Nicole squeals.

"Dana, who is this scary girl?" Tasha clutches my skirt even tighter.

"That's Nicole! You'll get used to her!" I sigh.

"Okay!" Tasha says uncertainly, "Can we go in now?"

"Right!" Logan smiles.

Tasha looks at him suspiciously. I laugh again and get strange looks from the rest of them. Logan grabs my hand. I get even more strange looks. Tasha grabs my other hand. Their looks soften.

Xx

We're sitting in front of the 46" wide screen TV in Logan's dorm, watching those really dippy Disney movies. We have two blubbering 'babies' because we had to watch Bambi. The only thing with 'babies' is that none of them are Tasha. She sits there on the edge of the seat. Her eyes are filled with evil, so's her face. There's a knock at the door. Chase goes and answers it.

"Chase, is Logan there?" I hear a voice chirp from the door.

Logan immediately pretends to cut his throat and shake his head, but it's too late.

"Yeah, Julie! Come on in!" Chase smiles, unknowingly.

Logan pushes me away as we are sitting really close, as in he had one arm round me and held my hand in the other.

"Logan? It's true then! Andrea was right! You split up with me for that-that trollop!" Julie screams.

"Really, Julie, what did you expect? She's the love of my life!" Logan raises his eyebrows.

"I was your steady girlfriend for two years and you couldn't stop telling me how much you hated her!" Julie cries.

I shoot Logan a warning look.

"I said I hated her, I did, but I still loved her!" Logan confesses.

I smile at Logan, he smiles back. Julie lunges forward as if to slap him. I stand up, so does Tasha.

"The dynamic duo! How cute?" Julie says in her sarcasm smothered voice.

"That's a big word for someone like you!" I snap.

"Like what?" Julie asks nastily.

"A bimbo! No offense Nicole!" I shout.

The rest are staring at me. I don't have to look I can feel their eyes burning me.

"Um..." Nicole starts.

I don't hear the end. Julie's hand slaps my face. I fall back with shock. My head hits something. Wham! It hurts! And then black!

**A/n: What do you think????? What should happen next???**


	6. What?

I Don't Know

Chap 6

**A/n: I really want people to like this story!!! I really do!!!!**

It's the first day of PCA. Zoey and Nicole come into the dorm. I make a scene, Zoey offers her bed, but I take Nicole's.

The scene changes to a few days later when me and Zoey beat Logan's ass at basketball. We were so happy that day.

It flashes to the dance when I kneed Logan.

It changes again to the end of semester beach party. God, I could have killed Quinn that day.

The next is the day I told them I signed up for the exchange program and I wouldn't be coming back the next semester.

Then the day I met Pierre outside the mart in Paris. He slipped his number inside my bag and I thought he was stealing my purse, so I sort of the kneed him where the sun don't shine.

The next is me and him in bed for the first time. We were so hesitant.

Then the day I found out I was pregnant. I cried loads that day, but Pierre was there for me to lean on.

The next the day I ran away from the aubaution clinic. I was about to go in, but as soon as no-one was watching me I legged it. I don't believe in aubautions, Mama was making me do it.

Then the day I had Tasha. She was so tiny and fragile. I cried buckets of happy tears.

The next the day I left Paris to come back to PCA. The crying Mama did made Tasha cry.

Then the day I told Logan I loved him. We kissed so much.

The next the day I first slept with him.

Then the day I met Warren.

The day I slept with him.

The day Logan found out.

The last time I slept with Warren.

A few days ago when he told me he was cheating on me with Andrea.

The next day when I told Logan about Tasha.

Today when we picked Tasha up from the airport.

And finally when Julie slapped me, but what sticks in my mind is the scene when I last slept with Warren. I don't know why, it just does.

Xx

I can hear faint voices now.

"Dana? Dana, it's Logan! Please wake up!"

"Mommy? Mommy! Mommy, talk to me!"

"Dana! Oh my god, Dana!"

"Oh, Dana, please wake up! If you die I will never forgive myself!"

"Mommy's going to die? Mommy, please don't die!"

"Shut up, Lola! Now is not the time to practise for the stage!"

There's silence from the group as I hear the doors bang open and heavy footsteps. There are a few groans too.

"Dana, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to knock you out!"

Dana, baby? It's Warren! Can you hear me? Show any signs!"

"Why would she even wake up for you? You cheated on her!"

"Like she cheated on you?!?"

"She loves me!"

"Then why'd she cheat?"

"Why did you?"

There's silence again. I'm trying to wake up, but I can't. I'm starting to feel again. There's small hands clutching my left hand and bigger female hands holding my right.

"Mommy, wake up!"

I try again. I feel my eyes twitch and flutter open. I close them tight again at the sudden burst of light. Then I slowly open them.

"Dana, sweetheart!" Warren exclaims as he moves up to my head.

I groan and roll my head over, but it hurts so much. I move it back and close my eyes. Logan pushes Warren out of the way and ushers Tasha forward. He touches my cheeks and I open my eyes again. He smiles. I try to smile, but all I can do is wince.

"Mommy, don't you ever scare me like that again!" Tasha orders.

"Fine!" I cringe.

A nurse comes in the room.

"Oh, good, you're awake!" she states the obvious, "May I speak to Dana alone?"

The gang, Warren, Julie, Andrea and Tasha file out of the room leaving me with the over-league happy, dumb, blonde nurse.

"Dana, you have sustained a bad head injury. To be precise you have fractured at the very back. It will heal in four to six weeks." she explains.

That doesn't sound to bad, right? Four weeks of school, six tops. That's not bad at all.

"There is something else, we had your blood, part of our routine, you see, well we-" the nurse stutters.

"Spit it out!" I mutter.

"Are you aware you're pregnant?" the nurse says.

It rings around my head like a bell. How can I be pregnant? I'm taking birth control pills. That's why the image of the last time me and Warren slept together stuck in my mind. That's why I missed Tasha so much.

"Would you like me to leave?" the bearer of bad news asks.

I try to nod my head, but it hurts too much. Instead I glare at her and she takes the hint. I can't believe I'm pregnant again. Mama will kill me! This can't be happening. Unless that morning...Oh my God! I had an algebra test and was so busy last minute cramming, I forgot. That night I slept with him to relieve stress, how could I be so foolish? That's why I felt dizzy. I'm dead! How can I explain this to Logan? How can I keep Warren away now? How could I be so stupid? What if I've hurt the baby with the two pills I've taken in the last four days? Oh, my god, I'm a helpless teenage mother! Warren's the father of my unborn child, yet I love Logan. My life sounds like a mushy gushy soap opera.

Xx

They're coming back in now, Zoey, Logan, Chase, Nicole, Lola, Michael, Quinn, Tasha, all the ones I love, Warren, Julie and Andrea, the people I could murder.

"Dana, what's wrong?" Tasha asks worriedly.

"I'm just sore!" I lie, I haven't actually given my new injury a second thought, all I can think about is my stupidity, "Do they have to be here?"

"No, I suppose not!" Logan smirks.

"I'm sorry, Dana! I really am!" Julie apologises.

I don't answer. Why should I? I wouldn't be in hospital for the third time in my life, if it weren't for her. Andrea just smirks and walks out the door.

"Night, babes!" Warren tries to kiss my head.

I block him. He smiles. I hate being helpless! I help being centre of attention! I hate being pregnant!

"Thank God, they're gone!" Logan sighed, only loud enough for me to hear.

He looks at me worriedly when I don't laugh. I'm just thinking of stuff I should say, but I don't because I'm thinking. I'm deep in thought. Every thing's black again.

Xx

This time I see Tasha, me, Logan and a bundle in my arms. I zoom in on the bundle and it's a baby, my baby. It looks like me with Warren's blue eyes. Then Warren comes and takes it away, Logan goes off with Julie and Mama takes Tasha back. I'm left alone, standing in the midst of nothingness. I open my eyes slowly.

Xx

The same ditsy nurse as before is standing above me.

"What happened?" I mumble.

"You collapsed! Don't worry, it's to be expected as, you know, you're pregnant with a nasty head injury. I've told you're friends you're just tired! They've gone home, except the little girl! She claims she doesn't know where she lives and the rest agreed!" the nurse talks a mile a minute in her chirpy voice, "You're scheduled for a brain scan in an hour!"

"The little girl's my daughter!" I smile forcedly.

"Oh!" That shut her up.

The nurse walked out and Tasha bounded in. I need to tell someone, I need to talk to someone. I don't know if I can trust Tasha though.

"Tasha, if I tell you something really exciting, do you promise not to tell anyone else?" I ask hopefully.

"Promise! Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye!" Tasha chants happily.

"Come and sit here!" I pat a spot on the bed next to me.

Tasha climbs up on the bed and sits next to me.

"I'm having a baby!" I whisper to her.

Tasha's eyes look as though they are going to pop out of her head, her face is white and her jaw is loose.

"Clementine is going to kill you!" she mutters.

"I know!" I sigh.

"I'm going to be a big sister!" Tasha's mood brightens.

A smile is plastered upon her face, her cheeks are rosy and her eyes sparkling.

"You can't tell anyone!" I warn.

"Not even Logan?"

"Especially not Logan!"

"Why?"

"He might leave me!"

"Isn't it his!"

"No, it's Warren's!"

"But, you're with Logan!"

"That was today and two years ago!"

"Logan won't leave you!"

"He will! He didn't even want me back! And now Warren won't leave me alone!"

"Why don't you like Warren?"

"He cheated on me!"

"Warren said you cheated on Logan and Logan still loves you!"

At that I am speechless and not just because I didn't have an answer to that, but because Warren had been discussing my life with my daughter.

**A/n: That's a very busy chap!!!!! What do you think????? Please, please, please, press the purple button!!!!! I'm counting on it!!!!**


	7. Logan the idiot!

I Don't Know!

Chap 7

**A/n: Here we go!!!!! Let's roll!!!!! Luv u Vanessa Hudgens!!!!! Luv ur album V!!!!!! I'm rambling coz I'm random!!!! If u find it annoying then u don't like me!!!!!**

"Dana, are you mad?" Tasha asks whilst looking at her feet.

"Of course I'm fucking mad! Not at you, at Warren! He doesn't have the right to talk to you! Especially about me!" I yell.

"I'm sorry!" Tasha mumbles.

"It's not your fault, I should have warned you about him!" I sigh.

"Where can I sleep?" Tasha yawns.

I bite my lip. Tasha looks at me hopefully.

"In here I suppose!" I throw open the cover and wince.

Tasha softly crawls into the bed and cuddles into me. I can't help smiling. She falls asleep almost immediately.

Xx

I'm going to throw up. I thrust my hand to the bedside table and feel around for the pot. Someone passes it to me. I don't have time to look as I am chucking my insides up. When I'm done I pass it back to the person and close my eyes for a minute to regroup and remember. I slowly turn my head and glance to my left. Logan's sitting there.

"Logan?" I whisper remembering Tasha's beside me.

"Hi!" he leans in and kisses me.

It's so nice to feel his lips touch mine again.

"Hey!" I breathe, "How did you know I needed that?"

"Your face was going green." Logan answers.

"I have to tell you something." I admit.

"What?" Logan holds my hand.

"I'm, you're gonna hate me," tears well in my eyes.

"I won't!" Logan shakes his head, his beautiful hair flows round his head.

"You will, I know you will! I'm-" he cuts me off.

"Pregnant?" he asks and immediately looks at his feet.

"How'd ya-" he cuts me off again.

"I can guess! I can read you like a book!" he rambles.

"You are angry, aren't you?" I mumble.

"No! Why would I be? Stupid question, there are a thousand reasons! I love you too much to lose you again!" Logan looks into my eyes and smiles.

I can see he means it. I can see he loves me. I can see he cares. I smile back.

"I'm keeping it!" I state.

"Of course!" Logan smiles.

"You told him, then?" Tasha yawns.

"Yeah!" Logan answers.

"I'm glad you two sorted it out, now can I please get to sleep?" Tasha moans.

"You are so your mother's daughter!" Logan rolls his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snap.

"Just that she acts a lot like you!" Logan remarks.

"Uh!" I retort.

Xx

Zoey's here now. I've sworn Logan to secrecy. There is noway he's going to tell anyone, I hope. I love the fact I can trust him again. I love the fact I love him. I LOVE him.

"So Dana, do you know when you're getting out?" she asks in her chirpy enthusiastic way.

I try to shake my head, wince and say, "No."

"Oh! Did Tasha have a good night?" she asks, her voice slightly down-trodden.

"I hope it's soon though, I'm going mad in here! For fun, I've counted all the tiles on the ceiling!" I joke.

"How many are there?" she giggles.

"A hundred and ninety-four and and a half!" I laugh.

Xx

Warren's here. I want him to go, but I can't wake up. I'm stuck in a semi-conscious unconsciousness. Logan's here too. They're arguing. I can hear them. I know what they are saying.

"I have a right to be here!" Warren screams.

"How?" Logan shouts.

"I love her!"

"She doesn't love you!"

"She does deep down!"

"Don't keep your hopes up!"

"Why not?"

"She's mine, Warren! My girlfriend! And although she's having your kid she loves me!"

Oh my god! He told him! He fucking told the bastard! The one person I didn't want to know, he told!

"She's pregnant?"

"No!"

"She is, isn't she?"

"Don't be stupid!"

"Logan?"

"I shouldn't have said anything!"

"Is she?"

"It's confidential!"

"Please?"

"Warren, just leave her alone!"

"My mom will kill me!"

"How do you think her mom will react?"

"She's on the pill though! Ain't she?"

"I don't know! I froze her out of my life for two years, I don't know much about her anymore!"

Then I completely blank out. I can't hear them anymore.

Xx

I wake up and Logan's still here. I groan.

"Dana?" he asks slowly.

I roll my eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asks unaware.

I close my eyes. Why should I answer him?

"What have I done now?" Logan bites his lip, even though I've got my eyes closed I know that's what he's doing.

"You should know!" I snap.

"You heard me and Warren, didn't you?" Logan sighs.

"Yes!" I yell.

My head throbs, so I clutch it. Logan comes over to me and reaches to my head.

"Don't touch me!" I scream.

Logan pulls back. He walks out the room. I cry. I thought I could trust him. I really did. I thought he understood me.

Xx

Tasha's asleep and I'm crying again. I'm really crying. I know I've let him down before. I know I blow things way out of proportion. I know I love him. I know I'm pregnant. I know I can't handle this. I know I want him. I want him. I LOVE him. It's scary. I don't think I can handle this alone. I don't think he loves me anymore. I don't think I can sleep. I know I can't sleep.

Xx

**A/n: Another busy chap!!!!!! Please, please, please, please, make my day and review!!!!! Please tell me what you think!!!!!**


	8. Future? What future?

I Don't Know!

Chap 8

**A/n: Here we go!!!! Remember my b'day is in 35 days!!!!!**

I wake up and fling my hand to the side of the bed. I fumble for the pan, sling it towards my mouth and throw up again. This is annoying. I remember what happened yesterday which makes me throw up even more. I put the pan back on the table and open my eyes. Tasha is sitting on the floor. Playing with a Bratz doll. It's Sasha, I think. Not one I've bought her or I've seen Mama with.

"Tasha, where did you get that?" I ask sleepily.

"Logan." Tasha mumbles.

"When did he give it to you?" I mutter.

"Why don't you ask him?" Tasha whispers.

I look to the other side of the room. Logan sits there. He looks worried. I groan.

"Dana, please forgive me!" he begs.

"Why should I?" I moan.

"I love you!"

"I swore you to secrecy!"

"I'm only human!"

"Look," I sigh, "I didn't want Warren to know, he'll use it as an excuse to stay with me."

"He doesn't want his parents to kill him! Dana, he won't stay with you!"

"You don't know him!"

"Dana, he doesn't love you, he won't want a baby with a girl he doesn't love if his parents will disown him!"

"Shut up!"

"No! I want you to listen to me!"

"Why should I?"

"Dana, I love you! He doesn't! I will look after you and both your kids! He won't!"

It hits me. He's negotiated something with Warren.

"What have you promised him?"

"Nothing!"

"Liar!"

"I've given him nothing!"

"Stop lying!"

"A thousand."

"A thousand? I'm not worth a thousand!"

"Dana, you're worth anything!"

"You don't need to buy me!"

"From Warren I do! He doesn't know when to stop!"

"Logan, come here."

I kiss him. I love him. I need him.

Xx

I'm my own with the nurse. Logan took Tasha to get some food.

"Dana, we've run some tests and it seems that you have a problem." the nurse explains.

"What sort of problem?" I bite my lip and hold my stomach.

"A brain problem."

"How bad?" I bite my lip so hard that I can actually taste blood.

"If you have this baby you are endangering your health. There is a small minor bleed to your brain."

I close my eyes.

"Your head will not heal if you keep this baby."

My head throbs. I clench my stomach.

"I'll leave you to think about it."

I feel my eyes well with tears. I don't cry. Or at least that's what I've told myself all these years. I cried in front of Warren. I've done that a million times, and yet I tell myself I don't cry.

Xx

Logan's back. I have my eyes closed. He's talking about our future. I start to cry.

"Dana? What's the matter?" Logan whispers.

"Tasha, leave." I mutter.

"Why, Dana?" she asks slowly.

"Just do it!" I order.

Tasha leaves the room with her Bratz doll. The door closes as the tears flood from my eyes.

"Dana? Tell me!" Logan holds my hand gently.

"I-have-a-minor-bleed-to-my-brain." I sob, "If I keep the baby I die."

Logan's silent and I'm crying.

Xx

I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling, counting the tiles, even though I've already counted them. Logan went. I made him. I couldn't continue crying in front of him. I made him take Tasha with him. I can't cry in front of her. Not even when she was a baby. I had to put her in a separate room to cry. This time it's different, I'm not ready to die, but I can't have an aubautions. I can't. They're wrong, but I could die.

Xx

In the morning I snatch the pot, throw up, put it back and count the tiles again. No-one brought any magazines for me. No-one brought anything for me to do. I need Mama. I can't call her, though, she'll kill me. I'm on my own. None of my friends can know. I'd become a charity case. Although I am one now. Some people think they have it bad, when they're pet gold fish dies and they have to flush it down the toilet, I am dying because I'm pregnant with brain damage. I have come to a conclusion, I'm going to risk my life. I've lived enough. My little one needs to live more than I do. I need to talk to Logan.

Xx

Lunchtime, although you won't catch me eating. Logan's come. He's left Tasha with Zoey. I cry into his chest.

"What's your decision?" he whispers.

"I'm going to die." I sniff.

"I'll look after it, I'll look after Tasha, I promise!"

"No, you're going to college!"

"Dana, I have my future all planned out, I'm going to be a producer, just like my dad!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah!"

"Do you know how much this means to me?"

"Yes! I love you, that's why I'm doing it!"

"Logan, promise me, you'll live on?"

"I promise! I already have someone lined up!?!"

"Who?!?"

"Tasha!?!"

"Ha ha!?! Very funny!?!"

"She's a lot like you!"

"You are not dating my four year old daughter when-"

"If,"

"when I die!"

"The nurse said there's still a chance!"

"I know, but I just have this feeling!"

"Feelings are nothing!"

"They are to me!"

"Dana, I have a feeling you are still going to be with me this time next year."

"If I am, then I'll..."

"Marry me?"

"I'd love to do that right now!"

"I know, me too!"

I kiss him. He's mine. He's my Logan. I know what this is doing to his insides, but he loves me. He's promised to look after my kids and he even loves me enough to marry me. I love him and he loves me. I hope I am alive this time next year. I stop kissing Logan and hug him. Logan strokes my hair behind my ear and I drift off to sleep.

Xx

**A/n: Well a very eventful chap!!!!!! What do you think?????**


	9. And BREATHE

I Don't Know!

Chap 9

**A/n: OMG!!!!! My b'day is in a month!!!!!**

xx

They've given me so many drugs, I hope I don't die on them. At least they're letting me out. I haven't told Zoey or anyone else that I'm going to die and Warren's going to keep quiet for a while, so I can tell them in my own time I'm pregnant again. Logan sits in my room, whilst I change in the bathroom. 'The bearer of bad news' as Logan calls the nurse, helps me change. I'm feeling stronger, but every time I feel better I remember my fate.

Xx

I'm dressed and sitting in the back of Logan's limo. He sits with me. I cuddled into him. I feel safe, for a while. I feel loved. I fall asleep.

Xx

Logan shakes my shoulders. I hold my head. He quickly cradles it. I sit up slowly in the black leather seats and look out the black tinted windows. The PCA campus spreads to each side of me. I missed it, when I was in hospital. The shops, the restaurants, the grass, the fresh air and most of all the freedom. In nine months time I will yet again be deprived of all of this. It aches inside to think about it. Logan thinks I'm brave. He doesn't know how I feel inside, he doesn't know that I'm worried about dying, I'm worried about him, Tasha and my baby. What if we both die? Then all of this would be for nothing. What if Logan can't handle it? Then both my babies will be taken back to France. What if I live and my baby dies? Then I can't live anymore.

Xx

I'm in my dorm. I'm resting against the wall. I feel sore. Tasha can sense something is up. She knows it's something bad. She steers clear of me and stays with Zoey. It hurts me on the inside to think that my lil' girl doesn't want to be near me. Logan's at basketball practise. If I weren't pregnant with this stupid bleed I would go and whip his ass, metaphorically of course. I could totally beat him still. I could before I had Tasha, I could when I was with Logan, I could when I was with Warren, who's to say I can't now? I'm going to.

Xx

I change into my shorts and tank-top and head down to the basketball court. People stare at me. They know who I am and they know I've been in hospital, it also doesn't help that I've got this head support thing. I make my way down to the court. Logan drops his ball and runs to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asks worriedly.

"I've come to practise." I roll my eyes.

"Should you be?"

"I have to live, if I'm going to die!"

"Take it easy, then."

"I can do what I want!"

"Please, Dana?"

"Fine..."

I play alongside Logan. I am winning, big surprise. I don't think he's actually trying, but oh well, at least I can rub it in his face afterwards. Tasha comes and watches. I can see her eyes light up. I feel free. Zoey's here too. She's watching me really weirdly. I think she knows something, which thing, I don't know, but she knows something about me. I carry on playing, winning against Logan. No-one else matters, just him and me, battling out.

Xx

That was fun. I won, no surprise. We're all now sitting in the girls' lounge. It's comfortable and relaxing and it's an added bonus that I don't have to count tiles. Logan has his arm round me and Tasha sits my other side on the edge of the couch. We're watching The Little Mermaid or some trash like that, but for Tasha's sake I pretend I like it. I think Zoey and Nicole like it more than her though. They sing all the songs, Tasha sings them in French. God, if I hear 'Kiss The Girl' again in French or English I will scream. Ashley Tisdale does wonders to that song, if it weren't for her, we'd still have that crab, Sebastien stuck in our heads. We're at the end, where Ariel finally marries the prince. As soon as it finishes. Nicole quickly flips the discs. Now we're watching The Little Mermaid 2: Return To The Sea. Could this get any worse? Apparently it can! Julie, Andrea and Warren just walked in. He turns to leave realising Logan and I were there. Andrea grabs his sleeve and pulls him onto the couch directly behind, that's facing in the opposite direction. I know she's kissing him, I know she's trying to rub it in my face. Logan turns cold, I stay loose to show him I'm alright and relaxed, but really I'm not. SHE's there. Julie. I'm going to die and it's all HER fault. I suppose I could not die, but then I will hate her because SHE'd have killed my baby. I hate HER. It's just occurred to me, this is all HER fault. SHE's ruined my life. SHE's ended my life. I get up and walk out.

Xx

I sit in my dorm. I cry. My red quilt is soaked with my tears. The door is locked. I feel my head throb and my vision blurs. I fall backwards on the bed and fall asleep, clutching my quilt.

Xx

I wake up in the morning and belt down the hall to the bathroom. I missed the days of morning sickness, psych.

Xx

Tasha's still asleep, but I've got class. I change as she semi-sleeps. HER and Andrea watch me as I dress Tasha. It's as if the slut and HER have never seen a little girl being dressed before. I change my self and take Tasha to Dean Rivers office. She would spend the day there. The plan was for her to stay in the art department all day, but Miss Kasey is off today, so it's not a good idea to leave her with the subs.

"Miss you, Dana." she whispers as I hug her goodbye.

"I'll miss you too." I sigh, I hug her hard.

I walk out the door. I know Dean Rivers is shaking his head with that stern look on his face, but I don't care. I'm going to live a life, until I die in around nine months. Tasha waves and clutches her Sasha Bratz doll, I wave back happily.

Xx

We've got this stupid assignment in Health. We've got to look after a robot baby. How lame is that? I've already had a kid, and I've got another one on the way, that sounds really slutty, why would I need to learn from a robot. Tell me the truth am I a slut? I need to know if I'm a slut, like Andrea. Now that would be bad. Logan's my partner for this stupid task. Two weeks we've got to look after this awful robot baby, together. At least he loves me. Zoey's with Chase, no surprise there, he probably broke into the classroom to make it like that, Nicole is with this guy she fancies, big time, not, Luc, Michael's with Vanessa, Chase probably rigged that up for him, Warren's with Andrea and SHE's with some poor guy named Craig. Why do we have to look after a robot? Stupid Warren, he made me sign up for this class in the first place. Now I have to look after a robot baby when I will never get to look after my own. Logan and Warren keep looking at me nervously. I think Warren knows he's not to have anything to do with me, but I suppose it is his baby. Maybe, just maybe, if he does well in this class I'll let him see his own, when it's born. Now we're getting a lecture about this stupid, ugly doll. Next thing I know I'm slamming the doll down and storming out the room.

Xx

I walk down the path, to the fountain, I'm going to be expelled, I just know it. I suppose Dean Rivers will understand when I tell him why I'm doing it. I suppose I should go back and explain, I'm under stress. I should go back and tell them I know I've been an ass. I turn back and Warren's there.

"What the HELL are you doing here?" I scream.

"I was sent to check on you." Warren whispers.

"Why you? Why not Logan? Why not Zoey?" I shout.

"I don't know." Warren sighs.

**A/n: And...REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	10. IT IS REAL! IT IS NOW!

I Don't Know

Chap 10

**A/n: Vernon's in the pub all alone when a bomb is gonna go off!!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!**

xx

"You shouldn't have taken all that money!" I yell.

"I didn't want to take any of it!" he whispers.

"So why did you?"

"To shut him up!"

"Warren, there is something else..."

"What? Is the baby gone? What's wrong?"

"No, the baby's fine...It's me...Your hussie's best friend is going to kill me!"

"What do you mean?"

"I have a bleed!"

"Sorry?"

"I have a bleed to my brain..."

"So you could die?"

"I'm going to die! The strain of having this baby will kill me!"

"Get rid of it!"

"I've made my decision, Warren, I'm ready to die!"

"Dana, please, I love you!"

"I'm sorry Warren. I never loved you, yeah the sex was amazing, but I never felt anything towards you."

"Not even for one second?"

"I'm sorry Warren."

"You're lying!"

"I'm not!"

"You're going to die when you have my kid, then you turn round and tell me you don't love me! You have to be lying!"

"Warren, I love Logan, not you!"

"You've got to get back to class!"

He walks off and doesn't look back. I've upset him. I told myself I loved him once. I didn't actually love him, I liked him, I really liked him, but Andrea made me turn, thankfully, now I'm back with the love of my life, for the rest of my life. I'm not scared anymore. I'm nervous about what will happen to Tasha, Logan and my unborn baby, but I'm not scared. I've come to terms with dying. I just hope he can cope, and I hope he can move on.

Xx

Tasha is asleep. Turns out my teacher didn't report my 'outburst' as she called, so Dana Cruz gets away with it once more. I'm working on a list, you know, a list of things to do before I die. I haven't got anything impossible or massive. Just stuff like 'choose a unisex name for my baby' or 'make a video for my baby'. Stupid, sentimental things like that, things that mean nothing to anyone but Logan, Tasha and the baby. I really know what I'm doing, but I don't know what they'll do. I don't know how to tell Tasha or my friends I'm going to die. I don't know how I'm going to feel when I die. I don't know how to die. I might not die, like Logan says. I may just make it. I may live out the rest of my life on life support if I don't die. The nurse slipped this panflet in with my meds. It's called 'So you're going to die'. It tells you that you should make a list, as I have, make a will, as I'm working on, sorta, and to tell anyone it will matter to, I'm working on it. How can I tell everyone I'm going to die?

Xx

I'm lying here. It must be about 6am. I can't sleep so I'm working on my will. It's not something you want to be working on at eighteen is it? I've given everything to Tasha and the baby, Logan has to hold on to it until they are old enough. I can't do this.

Xx

I feel unusually happy, chirpy sort of. I go about acting like Nicole would. I suppose I could even put Nicole to shame. I can control it. It's as if I have all this excess energy I've been saving for years that won't need. Zoey keeps sending me freaked out looks, Nicole laughs, Lola frowns, Chase shakes his bushy hair, Michael rolls his eyes, Warren sends me worried looks, Julie is very guilty, Andrea is all over Warren as if to make me jealous and Tasha steers clear again, but Logan understands. I sit in homeroom, I can feel Warrens eyes burning a hole in the back of my neck, I can feel Logan squeezing my hand, I can feel Zoey's dirty looks, I can hear Nicole's piercing laugh, I can hear Andrea hushed sexual whispers to Warren, I can feel Julie's guilt, I can feel the breeze as Chase shakes his bushy hair, I can see Michael's eyes repeatedly go into the back of his head, I can sense Tasha's sadness, I can see Lola's frown and worst of all I know I will not have all these senses for much longer. I don't quite know why Lola is frowning. It could be that she likes Logan, that she's worried or that she is appalled at my behaviour. When the bell rings I skip out of class and down the hall. As I reach English my head is throbbing, but I don't have time for that. I sit in my seat lightly. Warren sits beside as we sat together before and we wont be able to change. I let my body language fail me as I sit as though I am enjoying it. I know what is happening to me, Warren knows what is happening to me and Logan knows what is happening to me, but everyone else is oblivious. They don't know why I'm acting like this. They don't know what I'm going through and if I tell Zoey she will flip.

Xx

Lunch. I've gone a whole day without acting like my normal self. I've been a bimbo who's cracked Nicole up, ticked Lola off, freaked Zoey out, confused Chase, worried Logan, wound up Michael, upset Warren, ignored Andrea, made Julie feel even more guilty and pushed Tasha even further away.

Nicole keeps laughing at my behaviour as I already told you. I seem to be making her laugh, which is very worrying as I used to fight with her all the time, but she was the one who tried to make Zoey my friend again.

Lola's ticked off coz she thinks I'm taking the mickey out of the stereotype 'bimbo'. I don't even know her that well. The year I came back from France I spent so much time with Logan I didn't have time to get to know Lola. When I got exiled I didn't need to get to know her anyway and now I'm going to die, why should I bother.

I've freaked Zoey out because I've been acting weirdly. She's my best friend, I would say always has been and always will, but she's the one that exiled me when I broke Logan's heart and I'm dying soon.

Chase is always confused at me.

Logan's worried because I'm acting different from my normal sarcastic self.

Michael's wound up. I pissed him off. He told me to calm down. I told him I didn't know what he meant. I know exactly what he meant. He's pissed off at me.

Warren's upset at me, as in English he asked me if I was lying about not loving him. I told him the truth. It was the sex that spurred me on.

Andrea ignores me. Like she always does. It doesn't surprise one bit.

Julie seems to feel even more guilty. I want to know if she knows I'm dying. I need to know if he let it slip. I had to tell him everything.

Tasha, my angel is avoiding me. She was up and dressed before I even had the chance to touch the floor. She even got Zoey to take her to the art department. She knows something is up, but as most four year olds don't, doesn't quite know what. The last thing I want is my lil' girl never to speak to me again.

Xx

Night again. As I watch Tasha sleep I feel tense. Usually it's relaxing for me, but tomorrow I'm telling them all what's happening with me. I'm going to cry, Logan will cry, Tasha will cry, Nicole will cry and Zoey will cry, Chase and Michael will be very sad, I think.

Xx

Today's the day. I am in incredibly nervous. I'm not bubbly and chirpy, I'm depressed. I can't be bothered getting up, but I do. Tasha also seems down in the dumps. I go over to her bed.

"Tasha..." I trail.

"Mommy, you're not well because of the baby, are you?" she whispers as she moves closer to me.

"I suppose you could say that." I mutter, "I'll tell you later."

"Can I speak to Daddy today?"

Oh my god, Pierre. I hadn't even considered him. He'll want Tasha when I die, won't he?

"Um...we'll see..."

"Thanks, Mommy!"

xx

I've finished with classes today. I can feel tears stinging my eyes as I sit down with them all Tasha sits on my knee. Logan holds my hand. I told him what I was going to do and he supports my decision. Zoey and Nicole look at me worriedly.

"I have-have something to tell you," I gulp, "I have a b-b-bleed to my brain."

"What do you mean, Dana?" Zoey's eyebrows furrow.

"When I f-f-f-fell and f-f-f-fractured my skull," I stutter, "I developed a bleed."

"Those can be fixed, right?" Lola inquires.

Logan shakes his head.

"What does that mean?" Zoey snaps unintentionally.

"It means I'm going to d-d-d-die." I whisper.

"Why?"

"How?

"What?"

They shoot questions at me. I let the tears flow that I have been holding in all day.

"Warren's baby..." Logan mumbles.

He too has tears flooding his face.

"They can't operate whilst I'm p-p-p-pregnant!" I almost yell.

"And getting rid of it is out of the question." Logan looks at his feet, "There is a chance that she could live."

"No Logan, there isn't! I'm getting weaker and this is only the start of it!" I shout.

"I have faith!" Logan breathes.

Zoey's crying now, Nicole is bawling and Tasha is looking up at me really shocked.

Xx

**A/n: That chap really shocks me!!!!!! What do you think????? Look out for the sequel 'Death is upon me' and the sequel to that will be named shortly!!!!!**


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